Please don’t get me started,
Or it’s going to provoke,
I cannot understand the fact
That you still choose to smoke.
I swear if I had MY way,
It’s something I’d revoke.
Each time that you take a puff,
You’re filling up with coke.*
And you know that there’s a likelihood
Your breath will fail and choke.

If I could wave a wand right now,
Clean lungs is what I would invoke.

*coke as in tar

I gathered twigs, and lit a fire,
And set the pot to brew.
Simplicity’s sure to grab, inspire,
And a stunning view.

I sit down here, upon the grass,
And my thoughts compose,
Luscious moments gently pass,
Full of sweet repose.

This is what life’s all about,
Nothing too ornate,
Just a cup of tea, a glass of stout,
And a view to titillate.

Hey! You!
I’m over here!
Watching you
From my hemisphere.

Hey! You!
Didn’t you know?
You’re predisposed
To pander to my braggadocio?

Hey! You!
The hand that feeds,
You should be ministering
To my needs!

…I’d like some chicken, tuna too,
And some “finger-lickin'” stew!
I’d like some milk and a bite of cheese,
And do I have to say a please??!!

You’ll get it for me ’cause you can,
And want to satisfy ‘your little man’
You’re so in love you just give in,
And pander to my every whim!

Hey! You!
You know I’m right!
You’ll wait on me,
Both day and night!

Hey! You!
I don’t need to budge,
Because I’m gorgeous,
– You be the judge!

# a tongue in cheek attack on all of us cat lovers and how soppy we are about our cats. And how they take advantage!

I found myself the other day,
In sore and desperate need,
My phone was out of battery,
And something was wrong with the charging lead.
I pulled up to a red phone box,
In some rural hemisphere,
And tried to find money to use it,
But it only ran on coins from yesteryear.
I love this great bit of history,
A wonderful cultural thing,
But when I need it but cannot work it,
My blood boils and my ears start to ring!

The world tipped on its axis
When you walked into it.
It was as if with just one smile,
One word, all the pieces fit.

The world tipped on its axis
When we met up that day,
It burst with technicolour,
No fifty shades of grey.

The world tipped on its axis
And will never be the same,
All my deep desires
Locked in one luscious frame.

The world tipped on its axis
And will never be aright,
Because my dearest, darling one,
You set my world alight.

I had a sip of water,
I had a bite to eat,
Now feeling a bit bloated,
I’ve escaped excessive heat.
I’ll lie here for a little while,
Until I feel I’m done,
Then climb back up the steps again,
And lie in the full sun.

The surf had now withdrawn,
Leaving small tide pools,
Here and there.
Sludgy green moss
Clung to some half-submerged rocks,
And beyond, in the shallows,
Lay the wreck.
Rust speckled its hull and cabin.
The wooden hatches were still battened down,
Hiding who knows what secrets below.
And the decks seemed somehow mournful,
Listing sideways and lifeless.
Yet I swear,
If she was restored to her former métier,
Her bustling, busy, glorious world,
Off before the sun rose fully,
She would bring a great catch home.

It was a message in a bottle,
Written in a cursive hand,
It spoke of loss and loneliness,
In a foreign land.

It was a message in a bottle,
From a sailor now marooned,
Cast ashore for mutiny,
But he was sore impugned.

It was a message in a bottle,
From somewhere quite remote,
Begging for aid and succour,
To be picked up by passing boat.

It was a message in a bottle,
From a man lost and alone,
Begging for a kindness,
For some mercy to be shown.

It was a message in a bottle,
And I swear I shed a tear,
For the sad misfortune,
Of this so-called buccaneer!

It was a message in a bottle,
That washed up on my beach,
And I felt sad the man who wrote it,
Was well beyond my reach.

It was a message in a bottle,
And it spoke straight to my soul,
As if the man who wrote it,
Sprung from it formed completely whole.

It was a message in a bottle,
And if I could I would,
Jump into smack or schooner,
And rescue him for good.

A clandestine meeting,
In an old railway tunnel.
It has to be.
No one can know
How much I love you,
Can see how much I love you.
I must be strong when we say
Our public goodbye.
So must you.
Just two good friends,
Bidding each other adieu.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Only you and I will know,
Know that our hearts will not be whole
Till we see each other again.

It I reach for you,
Will you be there?
To comfort me,
With things I cannot bear?

If I reach for you,
Will you hold me fast?
Until my fearfulness
Has passed?

If I reach for you,
Will you keep me calm?
And give respite
From any qualm?

If I call out for you
To acknowledge my prayer,
And I reach for you,
Will you be there?