“Oh Lord, it’s late and we’re sitting around,
Just waiting for someone who’s homeward-bound…”
The life of an “‘ospital transporter” is varied but hard,
‘Cause they never know who they’ll have to pick up in their ‘car’….
And believe me, these amb’lances are not comfy or gentle,
They’re a white van stripped back to the bare essential.
The trolley’s so small, your feet hang off the end,
As you take every corner, your spirits descend,
‘Cause it’s simply not got any kind of suspension,
So each bump in the road’s felt in places I’d much rather not mention!
If you travel in one, pray you haven’t had a back op,
Or you’ll scream blue murder till the vehicle comes to a stop!
Travelling in these monstrosities really isn’t a joke,
The upside is the staff who drive them are wonderful folk!