I had some nice, juicy apples to eat,
When I ran out of a supply of fresh meat,
But someone went and froze,
Every darned one of those,
And now I’m slumped here in defeat.

I cannot decide what to wear!
Each outfit’s so hard to compare!
Dress, trousers or skirt?
Laid-back? Extrovert?
…it just has to cover my large derrière!

A young lady was taken to court,
By someone fleecing her for care and support.
The judge had to agree,
So she paid quarter the fee,
And was considered a jolly good sport!

The fabulous Paralympic Winter Games,
When unknown folk become household names,
Those who can barely see,
Choose to Alpine Ski,
Courage will never seem the same!

The extraordinarily brave Kelly Gallagher is the first Briton to win Olympic Gold. She is partially sighted and has just won the Alpine Super-G following her guide, Charlotte Evans

This is Professor Bluebird from Puget Sound,
One of the most beautiful songbirds around,
For just a trifling donation,
You can protect them in your nation*,
This is one of the loveliest charities I’ve found.

* the USA
To donate to this great charity, go to:
http://www.pugetsoundbluebird.org

There once was a woman (no source),
Who decided to buy a pet horse,
They walked out together,
In all kinds of weather,
On a specially made leash of course!

Now just where does that apostrophe go?
My grammar’s more crib than chateau!
Is it after or before?
I need to know the score,
I simply don’t understand dammit , or know!

I once had a cat called McDuff,
Who never could get quite enough,
Of a crisp brown paper sheet,
To wrap in from his head to his feet,
He just loved all that stationery stuff!

My friend had a piglet called Sam,
Who was destined to be fattened for ham,
But he had such charm,
That he came to no harm,
He’s alive and happier than a clam! *

* happy as a clam at high tide is an American expression for someone who is as happy as can be (thanks Cory Cook)

March 04: Counting Sheep?
This farmer in Scotland now dyes all his sheep,
With colours non-toxic, both flashy and deep,
To please or electrify,
All those that drive by,
And prevent them from going to sleep!