There once was a mongrel called Pat,
Who began to start wearing a hat,
When asked why this was so,
He’d growl voce sotto,*
Because it keeps my comb-over flat.

* pronounced sotto vochy – Italian for very quietly spoken

I am the original coffee snob,
As long as I can pour it down my gob!
We grind our beans for every brew,
‘Cause instant, well, it’s frankly spew,
Coffee just has to be the proper job!

This beauty’s the lilac breasted roller,
It’s markings are vibrant and solar,
Lilac and blue,
Every colour and hue,
It likes to swoop down from a position that’s polar! *

* this bird loves wooded landscapes and it likes to sit high in a conspicuous “polar” position, so it can sweep down on its prey. It is the national bird of both Botswana and Kenya and lives in sub-Saharan Africa and the Arabian Peninsula.

A devious old codger called Jack,
Spent every hour that he could at the track,
He’d lay bet after bet,
On what odds he could get,
As long as he’d something to back!

This pic shows a grand physiognomy,
That creates this tower with power and economy,
Counterbalance and poise,
Is what each person employs,
And it’s done jointly and with equal autonomy.

A jolly old dear from Southsea,
Was a great fan of all kinds of tea,
Darjeeling, Oolong,
She felt no brand was wrong,
Because she was a true devotee!

I once had a brainy wee Westie,
Who was simply just one of the bestie,
He read loads of books,
Despite questioning looks,
And I felt that I was truly blessed, yea!

There existed a girl called Cherie,
Who purchased a flat screen TV,
She acquired some serious specs,
To access the special effects,
Because this marvel also came in 3D.

There was a cheerful old tramp in the Bronx,
Who thought all other vagrants were twonks*,
Finding them stupid and smelly,
And friendly? Not on your nelly,
He’d rather give his head a couple of bonks!

*Derogitary term, roughly equivalent to idiot. More insulting than berk, but less insulting that gimp.
Thought to originate in the Victorian Era meaning a lower-class foreigner

There was a young girl from Tralee,
Who decided to live up a tree,
A structure of splendour,
Was on her agenda,
And it was, I think you will agree!