2017 is the year of the beard, 

I cannot bear them, and that mIght seem quite weird, 

But you’re never quite sure of what lies underneath, 

Or you run the risk of hairs getting stuck in your teeth. 

Short men think a beard will make them look  tall, 

But I’m afraid that, dear reader, like lemmings they fall! 

A beard just disguises a very weak chin, 

Or a nose that is Roman, too large or too thin. 

There are one or two people that facial hair will suit, 

They’re usually swarthy or even hirsute. 

So why the big fashion? Why the big fuss? 

Why do the handsome clean-shaven think a beard is a must? 

Are men all just vain or are they razor-averse,

Because growing a beard will  just make them look worse.

I’m no fan of the goatee or of the Van Dyke,

A moustache or a beard is not something I like.

© Caro Field July 2017

Photo of Van Dyke beard found on Ŵikipedia