I am an extremely enthusiastic backer,
Of the cult of the Christmas cracker.
Trouble is they can be, quite elementary,
Or have that extra polish, finesse and lacquer!

They are always filled with this and that,
A stupid joke, a paper hat,
A cracker snap that goes off with a zap,
They simply follow the same basic format.

One year I decided to make my own,
And so I went for your basic clone,
I asked people to choose, their favourite booze,
And a small bottle * became the lodestone.**

* a miniature bottle (pop for the kids)
** an item with magnetic properties