Let me ask a rather leading question of you,
Do you have a bidet in your bathroom or loo?
Did some plumber from the distant past,
Plumb one in so it would taunt you …and dammit, LAST?!
A bidet is somehow a strange invention,
Is it designed to fill some kind of weird convention?
It’s apparently French for a miniscule pony,
But that seems to me to be a load of baloney,
Why go equine to prevent a certain ‘hum’,
To flush your pudenda, brush up your bum?!
To douse your ‘bits’ and souse your flesh,
To try to make you feel all clean and fresh!
And now the ‘Bio-Bidet’ from Korea, Japan,
With spray-hose attachments – no flash in the ‘pan’!
Apparently they make your bathroom complete,
But I’d rather use one to wash my feet…!