The Quantock Hills are an anomaly. They were the first area in England to be named an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, yet most people have not even heard of them. Instead they race past to Exmoor, along the coast to Linton and Lynmouth or to surf at Croyde. A few years back, the Bridgwater Camel Company was set up in Plainsfield to provide treks in the area. It is a small village, nestling in the Quantocks, near where I lived until very recently. What a great way to see this amazing landscape it is too. High from the back of a camel.

Macgregor, like many small dogs, had an ego the size of the Taj Mahal and Great Dane size delusions of grandeur…He believed himself to be king of the world. He also, like every other entire male dog on the planet, had a very healthy libido. One that not every other creature he met necessarily shared…

The Camel Co. used to exercise their camels on the beach at Steart. This is one of the few beaches locally that is sand, rather than stone. We had taken Macgregor to the beach to exercise. This was his favourite walk. He loved water and splashed in and out of the sea repeatedly, even, once, on New Year’s Day, when his minders discovered, to their cost, they had to venture into the surf to fetch him back….

On this particular occasion, the camels had had their canters along the beach and were tethered by their horse box. One of them, having had a wearisome morning was lying on the beach, her chin on the ground, eyes closed. Macgregor saw this as an open invitation, so raced around her back end and, being red-blooded, mounted her. Bless her! So small was he in comparison to her that she did not even notice…not even a twitch of an eyelash. He, on the other hand, was severely tested. The angle he was attempting was just too steep. Try as he might, he just kept slipping back down. Undeterred, he raced around the front again. She had her chin resting on the sand, eyes closed, and was gently snoring. He assessed her for approximately 30 seconds then decided that the same method of attack was appropriate, so he started  humping her left nostril.

On this occasion she did take notice. Astonished, her eyes flew open. Fluttering her impossibly long eyelashes, she lifted her head. in startled shock. Macgregor, oblivious, just kept going, even when 3 foot off the ground. He stopped only, when suitably outraged, the camel cleared her nostrils of ALL unwelcome objects (including the dog) by sneezing very loudly. He shot backwards at some velocity, landed on all fours, like a cat, and nonchalantly, trotted off up the beach…