This is a poem I wrote for my colleagues when we all lost our jobs! You need to sing it to the tune of “Oom pah pah” from the musical “Oliver”. A leaving song for the 1st of the month!

There’s a little ditty that isn’t very pretty,
That needs to be sung at a staff-leaving do!
Faced with resignations, your wild imaginations,
Make you wonder why you all landed up in the poo!

Feeling disgruntled and led by the nose,
People resign midst a bundle of woes,
But do they all leave as we’re led to suppose?
Or was it the Oom pah pah?

Oom pah pah, Oom pah pah, somebody goes,
Their motives for leaving they may not disclose,
But whether it’s hidden or whether it shows,
It’s the same Oom pah pah!

Resigning first a director, who unlike Hannibal Lecter,
Didn’t have a devious or murderous bone in her bod!
She never really mastered the art of being a bastard,
So her temperament didn’t suit this particular squad!

Oh she’d lie if she said that she liked all the years,
Of telling her clients we pay in arrears,
It’s cash flow, you know, till the law suit appears,
Or is it the Oom pah pah?

The hatchet man was ailing, it seemed that he was failing,
At sacking the employees on the flimsiest word.
But then the hatch man stopped, ’cause the penny finally dropped,
They’d use him and abuse him and then give HIM the bird.

Under the weight of the work his back bent,
He sought a stiff challenge and God was it sent,
He hated to say “This is not what I meant!”
So he too went Oom pah pah!

So that’s my little ditty, I hope you found it witty,
Written to honour a staff leaving do,
As the runners leave their blocks, you can bet your cotton socks,
That the rest of us will be bidden a fond farewell or adieu!

Oom pah pah, Oom pah pah, please read my lips,
No other person can cash in their chips,
Lose any more we’d have total eclipse,
From too much of the Oom pah pah!

Oom pah pah, Oom pah pah, please don’t be blind,
Your resignation will be redefined,
Management’s happy, too bad for mankind,
Huzzah for the Oom pah pah!