A small curved lens that’s hard or soft,
In every shade or hue,
They come in green and grey or brown,
In white* or black or blue.

If you are a vain(ish) bride**,
And want to look your best,
You stick this in your blinking eye,
And end up seeing less.

You need to carry with you,
Solutions of every kind,
Or you’ll find if you’re unlucky,
You’re not short-sighted now, you’re blind!

They’re fine till while applying them,
You drop one on the floor,
Then hours of frenzied crawling round,
It IS a fatal flaw!

And what of when you’re courting,
And the hours trip swiftly by,
Until the magic’s shattered with
“There’s something in my eye!”

As fine as bits of gossamer,
They really are not thick,
But put them on initially,
And they seem like bits of brick!

And how do you get over
Sticking a finger in your eye,
In order that you pop one in?
You either flinch or cry!

Your eyes look so much better
Than in glasses but
Unless your eyes adapt to them
They stay resolutely shut!

*My daughter played the part of a blind witch in Macbeth and the director put her in white contact lenses to imitate glaucoma. It is incredibly creepy!

**OK, so I admit it, I wore contact lenses on MY wedding day… They lasted for precisely 3 weeks afterwards, when one popped out in the snow on a skiing holiday!