My friend longed to give back to charity
So he decided to enter a comp
His brief to raise money for comic relief
He thought it’d be quite a romp.
It soon became clear that those near and dear
Were keen to give without any demur,
He prepared with real vigour, and impressive rigour,
He got himself booted and spurred.
He was really surprised at the size of his prize,
The amount that was put into his pot,
He didn’t know why their gifts went sky-high,
For a shaven moustache ’twas a lot!
He’d nurtured this ‘tache for 30 odd years,
It was big, it was thick, it was lush,
It wasn’t a strip, it clung to his lip
Like a monstrously big bottle brush.
And then the night of the shave loomed in sight
And he found his nerves moose overtaxed
It seemed he’d been fooled, had to play by the rules,
His moustache wasn’t shaved, it was waxed….