Today sees a trip to the dentist,
To fill a recalcitrant tooth.
The prospect ahead, will fill me with dread,
– I’ll feel the need to rinse out with vermouth!
He X-rays every one of my gnashers,
To highlight decay underneath
Dictating dental opinions to each of his minions,
About the deplorable state of my teeth
In order to tackle my dental debacle,
That ensues from consuming ‘confections’,
I TRY to rejoice at the ‘pain-free’ choice,
Which involves num’rous gigantic injections!
“Just a scratch”, says the unintentional sadist,
Jabbing what resembles a spear into my gum,
I can’t feign pretense, my whole body goes tense,
As I wait for my mouth to go numb.
He’s painted the ceiling with sailing ships,
In the hope that I’m distracted below,
Won’t tighten my rectum, at the sight of his speculum,
And my confidence in him will grow.
Well, he must have another think coming,
I feel sick and begin to perspire,
I’ve a rash on my neck, from the bib on my ‘deck’,
Placed there for ‘debris’ by Sam Strawson Esq.
Forcing my mouth open a little bit wider
To give him space to more eas’ly move round,
Displaying his skills, with different drills,
He excavates an abscess that he has just found.
Now I’m supposed to remain cheerful and chatty,
Whilst he applies the glue, the paste, heat and light,
And then carbon papers, snippets or wafers,
To check on the state of my bite.
I grind my teeth with a gay abandon,
My oral ordeal’s almost done,
My clothes are all dripping, my halo is slipping,
And I’ve a seriously oversized tongue.
Then it’s over and I’m racing homeward,
In time for a nice cuppa tea,
But my jaw feels quite stiff and my face is skew whiff
And there is dribble all over me…