The Sahara is the hottest place on earth,
And has the most enormous girth,
It is the size of China or the USA,
The Atlantic one side, the Med the other way.
Some of the dunes are 580 feet high,
And really do look as if they touch the sky.
Sand seas or ergs are it’s signature though,
It mainly consists of rocky plateaux.
It is shaped by the wind and occasional rain,
And rivulets that appear then vanish again.
Because the tilt of the earth is degrees 22-24.5,
In 15,000 years, the Sahara will come alive,
It will flourish and prosper, become lush and green,
And nary a sand dune will be seen…

With thanks to Pete Laberge who suggested this historical figure to me!

Mansa Musa I, the richest man of all time,
Makes Bill Gates look like he’s made just a dime!
The current world’s richest man is Carlos Slim,
But he only places 22nd alongside him,
Slim has a paltry $68 billion,
This is nothing alongside Musa’s gerzillion!
Adjust his fortune, in line with inflation,
It’s $400 billion, no exaggeration!
On a pilgrimage to Mecca in 1324,
He took riches with him never seen before.
500 stewards went with him upon this Hajj,
Each carrying a staff of gold as their Musa badge,
When Musa passed through Cairo, he gave so much gold away,
That the economy suffered for 20 years from that very day!
He raised mosques and madrasas* in Timbuktu,
This man knew how to spend his rich revenue!
There were 400 cities in Mali by the time he died,
And his glittering reputation was ratified.

*Educational establishments

The Chateau de Chillon is a place of romance,
An island fortress, it overlooks France,
On the shore of the lake*, in the commune of Veyteux,
It is only 3 k from Switzerland’s Montreux.
Thought to be built in 1160 or even 1005,
Home to the Dukes of Savoy, whilst they were alive.
Byron wrote a poem about it and its captive, de Bonivard,
Introducing the castle to readers, both near and far.
You’ll also find it in Henry James, I’m betting,
Because in Daisy Miller it provides a setting…
Made of 100 buildings all linked up now,
I urge you to find a way to visit somehow!

*Lake Geneva.

When I was a child, my gran and grandpa,
Went to live in Switzerland, which seemed very far…
My grandpa had cancer and was told by his doc,
He needed some warmth so he’d feel less croc.
They moved to Lausanne, a beautiful place,
Full of light and mountains, fresh air and SPACE!
Lake Geneva close by, it’s right on its shore,
It’s a city of substance, a place I adore.
Lausanne is the capital of the canton of Vaud,
The Jura Mountains lie north-west,covered in snow.
The Olympic Committee has it’s headquarters here,
The Romans originally founded it at Vichy – quite near.
In 1685, Huguenots, woman and man,
Found they were welcome here in Lausanne.
The city now boasts a 28 station metro,
The smallest place in the world to move people so!

A young girl called Solange Luyon from France was forced to flee,
A persecuted Huguenot, she came to Bath as a refugee.
She found work in the kitchens of a bakery there,
And soon was found on the streets, a’selling their wares.
But she had great ambition, and created a brioche bun,
And called it by her ‘English’ name, of Sally Lunn.
Designed to be eaten with sour or sweet food,
It attracted the attention of the great and good,
And soon they were beating a path to the door,
Of Lilliput Alley Bakery, begging for more,
But the road’s changed it’s name over the years somehow,
You’ll find Sally Lunn House at North Parade Passage now!

Papyrus was grown on the River Nile,
And was used to write on for quite some while,
Then much later, Ts’ai Lun, circa 105 AD,
Presented his paper making technology.
He soaked hemp, beat it, then drained it through a sieve,
Stretched it on a frame, dried it, and paper t’would give.
In 1630, the paper bag invention brought new hope,
But it was awkward because it folded like an envelope.
Charles Fenerty made the first paper from wood,*
But didn’t patent his invention, so others made good.
Then Healey & Allen pleated paper to line men’s top hats, **
And in 1870 Robert Gair made boxes out of pre-cut ‘flats’,***
Albert Jones of New York, made corrugated paper to safely ship stuff,****
1874, Smyth built a cardboard machine and Long made the patent less rough.
Margaret Knight created square bottoms for bags whilst working in a factory,
And founded the Eastern Paper Bag Company to make them in 1870.
In 1872, Luther Crowell patented a machine that would make loads more,
And the iconic paper plate was patented in 1904.

*In 1838.
** In 1856.
***An American.
**** In 1871

When the Romans landed in Kent,
Around 55 BC,
They found some serious merriment,
Over an apple-based ‘chablis’!

‘Twas a drink the locals rather liked,
Made from apple-based brew,
And so those Romans, truly psyched,
Set about making it too…

Now let’s move on to 597AD,
And orchards were attached to every monastery,
So the monks consulted their chemistry,
And started making cider/scrumpy.

Then came the Black Death, the Wars of the Roses,
And one King Henry VIII,
The orchards were planted, and the master composes,
Cider to give one a little faith!

In the 16th and 17th centuries,
Cider orchards were planted widely in Kent,
And also in Somerset and sundry counties,
And believe me it’s money well spent!

Spices were really highly prized,
They commanded quite a trade,
Cardamom, ginger, turmeric,
All of them made the grade.
All these spices found their way,
To Europe prior to the CE,
The Ethiopians were the best merchants,
Around the shores of the Red Sea.
Arab traders then took over,
Aiming to supplant,
Shipping spices into Venice,
Via the Levant.
Black pepper then took over,
As the spice of choice,
Vasco de Gama shipped it in,
And Europe all rejoiced.
Later on the trade was led,
By the Portugese,
And Spain wanting to try to get their cut,
Went west to reach the East Indies.

Let me ask a rather leading question of you,
Do you have a bidet in your bathroom or loo?
Did some plumber from the distant past,
Plumb one in so it would taunt you …and dammit, LAST?!
A bidet is somehow a strange invention,
Is it designed to fill some kind of weird convention?
It’s apparently French for a miniscule pony,
But that seems to me to be a load of baloney,
Why go equine to prevent a certain ‘hum’,
To flush your pudenda, brush up your bum?!
To douse your ‘bits’ and souse your flesh,
To try to make you feel all clean and fresh!
And now the ‘Bio-Bidet’ from Korea, Japan,
With spray-hose attachments – no flash in the ‘pan’!
Apparently they make your bathroom complete,
But I’d rather use one to wash my feet…!