Let’s face it, British weather can be erratic,

Changeable, capricious, it’s never static,

It’s warm, it’s bright, it’s fantastically sunny,

Then the clouds roll in – well, it just ain’t funny,

You forgot your umbrella, you’re soaked to the skin,

You start envying the life of the bedouin…

We may have flash floods, ’cause it rains so much,

But we don’t have major earthquakes, tornadoes and such.

We may grind to a halt ’cause we are feet-deep in snow,

Or our train service stops: leaves on the line, don’t you know!

Did you know that a Brit spends 6 months of their life on this earth,

Discussing the weather? So for God’s sake give it a very wide berth!

Weather-forecasting’s a subject to which we’re genetically predisposed,

So for the sake of your health, keep the subject resolutely closed!