Another wee excerpt cuckooed from a forthcoming novel….

I throw myself back on the bed. My arms over my head. I stare at the ceiling and grin. I have been trying to read the signs in each message. Subtle nuances in each texted word. I’ve felt you holding yourself back a little. Sensed that you need to test my resolve. I’ve wondered, on occasion, whether you trust yourself or indeed, whether you trust me.  Till now. Till tonight. Tonight, for the first time, you have declared yourself. A wonderful woman has told me that she loves me too. You have told me you love me.

I am content, I am complete, I am the Cheshire Cat, I am a smile.  I feel the physicality of our relationship, I love the visceral pull of it. In your company, my heart feels really present in my chest. It beats with savagery, abandon, tenderness, release. Talk to you and the urge is deep, a ribbon of fire from heart to groin. Spar with you and the space between my shoulders expands to drink the laughter in.  A tuning fork, vibrating gently, body and mind hum to a single tune. Every note they play is you.

You hate to feel crowded. Hate to feel pressured. Loathe relentlessness. But oh, I want you to feel my want of you. I want to feel your want of me.  The world is a far, far better place because it has YOU in it.  Speaking with you is like strawberries and cream, like fireworks exploding on a dark, dark night. I want to be part of your world and for you to be part of mine.

Have you any idea how central you are to my life my darling? That with your support, I have begun the process of transformation, of regeneration,? And that you have saved me from myself? I think of you and I am alive to a future of infinite possibility, of probability, of certainty, of choice. I have never been lucky. With you I am. With you in my world there is nothing I cannot do. With you at my side, I feel brave again. There is nothing I would not do for you, my love, and I cannot help thinking that one day, together, we will be invincible….